We don’t know what people went through to get to where they are now. But it doesn’t stop any of us from comparing ourselves to other people. And if you allow it, comparison will kill your purpose, your identity, your dreams and your relationships.
Underestimating other people’s journey is how we overestimate where we “should” be in comparison.
You don’t intentionally compare yourself to anyone else, I know that. Of no fault of your own, you may have grown up in the shadow of a sibling, a sister, a brother, a relative or a family friend. Maybe you were raised just feeling less than, just plain not good enough. That childhood feeling continues into adulthood and it’s unfortunate. I’m sorry you ever felt that way, I have too. You weren’t meant to be like anyone else and neither was I, we are who we are. If you were supposed to be like anyone else, God wouldn’t have needed to create you in the first place. Why duplicate what as been made perfect? That’s why there are a bajillion people on the planet. We all have our own purpose, we all have our own work to do.
Your work won’t look like mine and mine won’t look like yours.
Be gratefully and joyfully different. Celebrate your pace, it is your race and your race alone. Comparison kills, but admiration builds. It’s okay to be inspired, encouraged and uplifted by the role models you admire. But be fully persuaded that you are who you are meant to be. Any additional self-improvement should be based on changes you’d like to make – not a change you’re making to be like someone else. While you’re busy working on yourself, by default you will have no time to be thinking (or comparing) yourself to anyone else.
“I wish I could be like…” is a dream killing phrase. Expect more than what you’ve seen.
And if that wasn’t enough, remember He already told you in 1 Corinthians 2:9, “…eyes have not seen, nor ears have heard what God has in store for them that love Him”, so you couldn’t possibly show up with the same life someone else has. Stop looking, you won’t find what can’t be found.
One of my favorite quotes from this song is, “The grass is fine / ‘Til it looked greener on the other side / Now you’re believing that you fell behind / But why try to match what should be one of a kind? / You’re one of a kind”
Comparison is a tactic used to distract you from your true identity in Christ. God already gave you a purpose; people cannot give you a purpose. And since people cannot give you a purpose, we shouldn’t allow people to dictate our identities. So when people attack you with comparisons: if you were shaped like her – you’d be married, if you went to this college – you’d be somebody, if you had longer hair – , if you had lighter skin – , if you had a bigger this or a smaller that — it’s all an attempt to make you feel torn and confused.
If I dress up like a cat, no one will look at me and believe I’m a cat. Maybe someone who’s never met a cat…but even then…really I’m just a person in a cat-suit…making a fool out of myself. Well trying to look like, be like or act like something you are not, is uncomfortable, embarrassing and counterproductive. And it’s not fooling anyone. Affirm yourself in Christ and lean on the Word to remind yourself that you are beautiful, you are on the right track, that you are not left behind – because you’re not ( no matter what you see on social media). I don’t want what someone else has – not their husband, not their life, not their look, not their anything – I only want what God wants for me.
Want what God wants for you.
I feel like from birth until now, I have lived under unspoken comparison. It’s a burden I refuse to carry any longer. If you’ve ever felt like this, then it’s time to give yourself permission to end it too. No more comparisons. Dont be so harsh on yourself, take your time and have patience that what you’ve prayed for is coming in God’s time (the best time). You have full permission to love all of you because God loves all of you. And really, who else matters?