After about 12 years at my home church; I made the hard decision to leave.Settling for the same atmosphere because I was comfortable was not the answer. But during one of those disheartened times on a Sunday, I thought of this.
I was staring at the stage floor, memorizing the speakers, outlining the ceiling vents with my eyes and singing along in worship with a half heart. And I thought to myself, “I don’t mean what I’m saying. I feel like a walker from Walking Dead.”
Haven’t we all been here before? Dragging through a Sunday morning because all you can think about are disloyal people, bills, relationships, work frustrations, hurt feelings, the past and the future. All of these mental distractions going on as we sing and lift our hands – hoping, simultaneously doubting, praying that God will love us enough to hear our cry.
That’s the Walking dead worship. Your body is present but your mind and your heart is gone.
I can only tell you what the Lord reminded me in that moment – “IF my word is really in your heart and IF you’re meditating on my word daily, and IF you don’t get weary in your well doing – I WILL take care of EVERYTHING.” I had to stop and think, God I haven’t done my part for you to do yours. I haven’t given you my pain or my struggle. I haven’t let you into the most complicated issues because I think you won’t understand – but He is GOD. Give it to him!
Joshua 1:8 says, “This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.”
Galatians 6:9 says, “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”
Don’t spend another day feeling this way.
He hears you and He is working on it for you. It is NOT easy. Plus, in pursuing a closer relationship with God – you may hear an answer you weren’t quite expecting. In my case, God told me to trust more and to let go in order to move forward. I trusted Him so much that I uprooted myself (full on Abraham-ed it lol). My load got lighter, my blessings got brighter and my worship feels like Me & Him again. Forget the show and dance; falling all over the alter for attention-sake. No, no, just seek the real thing. Fall for Christ, let him be the first love again.
Enjoy praise and worship. Smile. The enemy wouldn’t mess with you if you weren’t important. Trials and tribulation is just evidence of your purpose. Stay strong my friends!